procrastination

20 March 2006 @ 15:29
my mood

I'm sitting here in the workroom, knowing that I should be studying or writing emails or researching something related to the planetaria field. But, I'm not. I can't. No one is here anyways.

Bossman called to check voicemail and ended up talking to me. No, I don't know if I'm going for sure yet. No, I don't know how long I'll be gone -- 11 months at least, more if the shit hits the fan. Yes, this will delay graduation but I'll get more benefits. No, I won't be in the field -- it's just a desk job. I haven't even discussed the legal aspect of it with him. Like how he will have to "hold" my job and re-employ me when I come back. (Not that I think that this will be a problem.) He's more concerned with me and my educational career. I don't think I could have asked for a better boss.

This is very nerve-wrecking. One of the other guys on The List -- the only one who has deployed before -- said that the anticipation before you leave is the worst part. I think the uncertainity of it all is the worst part, at least right now. Tell me that I'm going for sure, tell me that I'm getting on that plane for sure, and I'll feel a little better. Then I'll be nervous with anticipation.

They do say that the food is good over there. Soldiers are actually gaining weight.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as I saw familiar and unfamiliar (but still friendly) faces in the cam this morning. Saying "oi" and "tchau" and "tudo bem" and crying about seeing "meus chokitos" being eaten. And listening to the lilt of Portuguese as Andre explained Kuwait, me, and us to bystanders. (Minha namorada, a Annie... Onze meses, na Kuwait...) Mae invited me to lunch. It looked good.

I miss them, all of them.
--Annie

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