never intended it to be this long
10 January 2006 @ 04:26
I hate how I have to stay up all night to get my sleep schedule back on track. It's like when I got back from training -- I wanted to go to bed at four in the morning. Nope, can't do that now. I have to do the work thing and the registering thing tomorrow morning.
I should do productive things, but I can't bring myself to that.
At least I haven't had a single shingles flare today.
Ded� and I had, well, an interesting coversation today to say the least. One that makes me wonder if something very very tragic happened to him as a baby, possibly before he was adopted. But since there are no adoption papers and I don't speak Portuguese very well and he refuses to ask the questions that I want answered.... I guess I'm stuck.
But I guess I could understand that. He's never known any other family than the one that raised him, and he's always shut it out of his mind that he could find his biological parents. (Their existance raises a whole other topic.)
I just look at him and wonder, you know? His health hasn't been very good these past few months. I know my complete medical history. I know what health risks I'll have due to genetics. He doesn't have a clue. Pai has diabetes, but that won't reveal if Andr� is at risk -- unless Pai is really his father or some other close male relative.
Or maybe I'm just getting into personal things that I have no business being in.
I have still another week of break before classes start. To state the obvious (or not so obvious), it's rather annoying. But, I think it's been good. I feel like I'm getting better, even if that's not entirely the case.
I am probably not going to do much other than work, procrastinate, play around with pain management, hope I have enough cash to buy books, and register for classes. And get my Paris stuff in order so I can have someone in the French department help me.
On pain management: it seems that my triggers are heat and cold. And since I love to snuggle up under a blanket and the house/workroom/planetarium is usually cold, there's no way I can get away from either of my triggers. So far two doses of extra strength Tylenol a day seems to do the trick as well as caspian cream. The cream is annoying because I either need to wear latex gloves to apply it or I need to be sure to wash my hands well. Pepper juice in the eye BURNS. It works, but only when I continue to use it. We'll see how that goes. I really should see the dermatologist.
Just thinking about having shingles and postherpetic neuralgia makes me both upset and frustrated. It's the worst-case scenerio. 21 year old kid comes in with pain and a rash. Doc thinks it's nothing major. Kid comes in a week later, rash is on it's way out, Doc is confused, kid sees a dermatologist. By then the kid knows what she has and the dermatologist says "Sorry! Nothing I can do about it. Do you have any questions?"... Kid goes home, tries to get everything back together but the pain hangs around. And hangs around and hangs around... And the kid is perfectly healthy otherwise.
What's worse is that I know exactly what triggered it.
I'm off to do productive-ish things, or at least try to fight off sleep for another few hours.
Good night or good morning, as the case may be.
--Annie