will you play along?

19 May 2006 @ 20:08
my mood

I can feel the whole building vibrate and shudder with each muted (and somehow rhythmic) BOOM. Outside somewhere, I'm sure, there's a sergeant yelling "GO GO GO!" at another steady pace, guiding soldiers through a run. Oh, and the birds are singing to each other.

Which wouldn't be so ironic if the explosions weren't going on.

I went to the mall today with the girls just so I could have good coffee, the gourmet kind along with a gourmet cookie. Ten kinds of bad for me, but I figure if I limit my goodies to once a week, it'll be okay.

I'm still trying to get used to eating two meals a day, as strange as that sounds. I am not used to so much food, and they look at me funny when I ask for smaller portions. I've never thrown so much food away before.

I'm trying to get out of going on AT. I just don't want to. Keith and I talked about it tonight, and I pretty much said that I'd rather spend the time with my family and at the planetarium. Those are going to be the things that I miss the most.

When I grow up, I hope I have a job that I look forward to going to everyday.

My cousin Abby called me last night from Iraq. We only got to talk for ten minutes, but it was enough for me. She says that morter attacks happen daily. Sometimes she doesn't even hear them -- just the "All clear! All clear!" over the loudspeaker. I wonder if they sound like the BOOMs here.

I feel like I've dropped off of the face of the planet. Is this how it will be when I'm overseas?

I mean... I have daily access to email. To the internet.

I'm only a few states away, not at the ends of the earth.

All the babies that I saw at the mall today made me miss my baby cousins.

I'm going to start taking pictures of military things just for them. Tanks, humvees, the barracks, me in uniform, etc. I want them to go to my deployment ceremony, but I don't want them to be upset. Will they even understand anyways?

Am I crazy for missing them?

If I tell you I'm strong, will you play along?
If I tell you I'm strong, will you play along?
If I tell you I'm strong, will you play along?
Or will you see I'm as insecure as anybody else?

(Blue Man Group's Sing Along)

I'm going back to being anti-social now. Not having a good day, despite everything postive that's going on.

Effin' hormones.
--Annie

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