not holding my breath
01 April 2004 @ 01:22
I really don't feel like writing today, so I'm going to give you the entry I wrote longhand in the hospital on Tuesday.
30 March 2004
Keith had surgery today. It was about time, too. Originally he was scheduled for the day before (Monday) but the doctor thought there was still a stone stuck in a duct. Of course there wasn't anything stuck anywhere. Better to be safe than sorry, though.
Apparently the surgery went fine. I wasn't there to talk to the doctor. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "What a lousy girlfriend -- not even there to talk to the doctor!" I'm not a horrible person, really I'm not. After they wheeled him into the OR, I took off on my journey of errand-running. While he was getting his gall bladder sucked out of him I dropped off posters, fed the animals, picked up stuff from his house, read email (both his and mine, his is mostly business) and I tried to pick up a perscription. And I made it back just as they were wheeling him out of Recovery. I rule.
So far he's either been asleep, cat-napping during conversation or eating, or awake and irritable. Tonight has been pretty lonely. The nurse isn't the friendliest, which puts me off a little. I hate asking her for something he needs or wants simply because she doesn't at least smile. Ugh. Between his irritability and the grouchy nurse I want to crawl under my cot and hide.
One of the stranger things that has happened today was quite unexpected and had nothing to do with Keith's internal organs.
This morning he revealed that Chan, Sophon's uncle and the guy that took Keith to Cambodia, told Keith that he thought that Keith should just dump Sophon and keep me around. Chan also said that it seemed that I cared a lot about Keith, and I do. I had only met Chan last night and naturally didn't contribute much to the conversation.
Later, he mentioned how his parents have been presuring him for awhile to do the same. Both his mother and father seem to like me. When I told her that I would be looking for a job, his mother mentioned openings at her workplace -- but she needed people now not two months from now. You know something's right when job networking is mentioned.
And more family pressure: Max and Kim are trying to talk Keith out of Sophon as well. Kim got really excited when I said I was moving to Columbus.
He's getting it from all sides: his best friend Chan, his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, and occassionally from Terasita.
I wonder if he remembers what he said to me when he weaved in and out of sleep. He said that he appricated me. He said that no woman had cared for him like how I did in a really long time. He said that he would have to think long and hard about the situation. He said that it was all fucking with his brain.
At least I know I'm not going through this alone.
I haven't said anything to him lately about it. Keith is stubborn. I'm not going to waste my time or torture myself emotionally. He is going to decide whatever he decides.
I'm not holding my breath.
--Annie