change
13 June 2004 @ 23:27
It's strange how quickly things can change.
Two years ago I was afraid of being deployed and leaving civilian life.
Now I count the years until my current contract is up so I can enter the service full time.
A year and a half ago I remember Clayton and I going to get some subs for dinner.
When I visited him at college last fall, he wouldn't touch me if I was wearing a leather jacket.
A year ago I was at band camp, clutching onto a fading romantic relationship with Clayton. Afraid of what the future held, I never wanted it to end.
Last night I slept next to Keith, who randomly rolled over and held me for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep. I woke up to a goodbye kiss and wishes of a safe drive home. I know it's going to end.
Eleven months ago I left for basic training with very long hair. The first night of training, I sat in my room after lights-out and cut it off with sewing scissors while crying.
With less hair to fuss with now, I wonder why I didn't chop it off sooner.
Six months ago I started my first semester of college as a music education major.
Realizing that I spend more time with my computers than my clarinets, I've decided to change my major to a computer-related field. I just couldn't deny my inner geek.
Five months ago I entered a short-term "fling" relationship.
After the gallbladder revolt/removal, I am left wondering how I let myself become so attached. We're left wondering, seperately and silently, what is to become of this.
Four months ago my brother moved out.
He's still an asshole. The change is that we never talk. Seeing him is like seeing a ghost.
A week ago Markish told me that there would be no distractions this year for him -- there were no girls his age.
Today he walked up to where his parents and I were sitting, with a big grin on his face and a strange rookie girl at his side. They look happy.
Should I just wake up tomorrow morning and expect things to be different?
--Annie